VietNamNet Bridge – “Your baby has HIV!” Hanh couldn’t believe the news from the doctor. She thought she would collapse at the hospital.
Beautiful and young, Bui My Hanh, a girl in Van Don in the northern coastal province of Quang Ninh, got married at the age of 20 (1998) with a simple dream: having a happy family with obedient, intelligent children.
But her daughter had many diseases after she was born. At the age of two, the baby was only 7kg in weight. The baby’s birthday was the start of many trips to hospitals by the mother and child. No hospital in Quang Ninh province could discover the reason for the diseases.
One day she took the child to the Vietnam-Sweden Hospital in Hanoi.
After looking at the symptoms, doctors took a blood sample from the child for testing. Holding the test result paper, the doctor asked Hanh: “Does your husband take drugs?” Hanh answered: “He used drugs in the past.” She heard the voice of the doctor from far, far away: “Your child has HIV.”
Hanh carried the child in her arms, arranged her luggage and ran away from the hospital. Her heart was stifled when she looked into the innocent eyes of her baby.
A short time later, Hanh’s husband and child were bedridden. Difficulties and hardship from taking care of her husband and baby couldn’t compare to the discrimination aimed at her small family.
“Her family has AIDS.” That news quickly diffused through the whole region. Everybody stayed away from Hanh as if HIV could infect them through the air.
Hanh’s tailoring shop had no customer because nobody dared to wear clothes made by an HIV carrier. Her husband got a temperature and sometimes he wanted a cool glass of water. Hanh bought ice and brought it to a neighbouring family asking them to keep the ice in their fridge, but they refused for fear of getting HIV from her.
Hanh’s husband and baby died in March and April 2001. Two coffins, one small, one big, were carried out of her house. Just several people attended the funerals. They went away leaving an empty house and a great pain.
The life was hell for Hanh at that moment. The great losses brought no reason for her to still live in this life. Many nights Hanh cried alone and thought of dying.
She would have done it if her mother didn’t tell her: “I delivered you healthy and normal like everybody. Because of your husband you have to suffer this circumstance. You should live to not waste your life. With each day of sadness, you lose a day.”
To live
Hanh tried to rise up and she regretted the one year in her life that she buried her life away in the darkness of pain. In that year, just the cry of babies pained her.
She thought to herself: “I’m innocent. People stay away from me because they don’t understand about HIV/AIDS. I discriminated against myself. HIV carriers must make the community change their awareness about HIV.”
Van Don at that time had more than 400 HIV carriers, a high number compared to the district’s population. Most HIV carriers hid themselves, fearing discrimination.
Hanh was one of the first HIV carriers who dared to say: “I’m an HIV carrier.” She has a female friend in the same situation. They came to each other on their hardest days. After that, some other HIV carriers came to them to make a group, not to cry for their fate but to fight against discrimination, which is sometimes more painful than AIDS.
Initially, Hanh’s group helped the families of HIV carriers to understand more about HIV/AIDS because even parents were afraid of getting HIV from their children through sitting at the same table or breathing the same air as the HIV-carrying children.
After that, the group went to ‘sensitive’ places like coach stations, inns, hotels to tell young people about the infection mechanism and how to avoid HIV.
From 2 to 6, from 6 to 131, those numbers have brought vitality to Hanh and members in her group, which is called “Everlasting flower” to encourage them to live usefully, not keeping themselves in the dark till they die.
The group’s activities have gradually become known to HIV/AIDS control organisations in the world. Hanh was invited to work for the Greater Involvement of People Living with HIV (GIPA), a project implemented by the United Nation Volunteers (UNV), the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS) and the Vietnam Women’s Union in four provinces and cities of Vietnam. Hanh has become a volunteer of the United Nations – a thing that she never dared to think possible.
With the name “Everlasting Flower”, Hanh’s group is a great family in which all members are siblings.
Once Hanh was walking on the street, a fruit-selling young woman ran after and asked her: “Did your husband lose weight before?” It turned out that the woman’s husband was in the final stage of AIDS. Since local people knew that, they didn’t buy fruit from this woman any more.
With no money to buy medicine for her husband, this woman experienced miserable days. Hanh went to her house to advise and assist her. Hanh didn’t need to talk much because her life was an example for the young woman to get back her belief in life.
“Everlasting Flower” sought a job for the young woman and she is now one of the most active members of this group. The family “Everlasting Flower” sometimes sees one of its members go away but they don’t die alone: their funerals are not deserted…
(Source: Tien Phong)